A Combination of Work Experience and Unadulterated Awesomeness

I have recently been introduced to the phrase "combination resume."  I am woefully ignorant of most of the rules of resumes, I fear, and this particular gem had escaped me.

In case you, too, are unaware of the combination resume, here is a primer.  It takes the standard reverse chronological listing of job experience (which, taken alone, is called a "chronological resume") and puts it on page two, following page one's listing of career skills and accomplishments in a more general sense.  This page, taken alone, is called a "functional resume."  I had heard of the functional and chronological formats before, but was unaware that, by putting both together, you have an entire new species of resume: the Combination.

Now, the combination resume seems sort of like cheating to me.  First of all, I thought the cardinal rule for someone my age was ONE PAGE ONLY.  And I hate violating cardinal rules.  Second, isn't the point of picking functional or chronological that you want to showcase your talents in the best way possible in a short space?  So the combination resume is not brief, and you don't get to hide anything that you are concerned about.  I guess that's the opposite of cheating, since it seems like a terrible idea.

And yet I am curiously drawn to it.  By listing my work experience chronologically (teacher...teacher...teacher), it sounds like I am only qualified for teaching jobs.  But the functional resume, to me, screams, "I don't want you to know where I worked or what I did, but here are some things I swear I'm good at."  So the combination seems to mitigate this problem slightly by stating in a calm tone, "Here are some things I'm good at, and here is where I was good at them."

After having learned the ins and outs of combination resumes, I am working on reformatting mine so it will be the bomb.  Now I just wish that my resume would combine with a sandwich.  I'm hungry.